Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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