ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
