Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
