Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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