i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
send nudes
from the living room?
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