I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
