This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
