the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
