if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize