Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
