I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
