My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
