i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
