Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Come see our sink grown plant.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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