how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
