We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
