meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
