Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
