actually, I'm a sock model
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
