At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize