I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
