let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
