Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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