is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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