dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
