just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
