i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
