We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
