Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
