if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
