home. puking in laundry basket.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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