plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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