She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
