Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I party with great urgency now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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