I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I came so hard my ears popped.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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