Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
