He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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