the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
