HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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