normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
