Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
