More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
well you can't waste a boner
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
