At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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