I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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