Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
