just come out here and I will go home with you...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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