six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up under a house in Key West
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