Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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