OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
