So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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