Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my sisters under your porch take her home
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
