Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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