i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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