Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
