escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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