whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
