Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
