direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
