Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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